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I wonder if it will actually be possible to fall asleep at the handlebars when I finish work?

I hope not.
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I've had an awful throat infection the last half week. It made me miss all my uni classes which is very annoying, as well as a day of work, which is expensive.

Yesterday I saw Dr Lum and he gave me MegaSteriodsOfDeath to kill the thing in my throat. So far they seem to be working so I will head back to work today, yay!

I'm feeling a tad bummed about having basically missed everything since Saturday due to being either unconscious or in a stupid amount of pain (it seriously felt like I had a ball of barbed wire stuck in my throat) so today I drove [ profile] mc_shamo to work then navigated a vast amount of roadworks to get to the Kathmandu outlet.

My old faithful backpack that had been all over Europe and done a fair bit of Australia finally packed it in after my last overseas jaunt. When I left for Greece I had a backpack and a roll of gaffa tape, when I returned from Rome I had a weird, vaguely backpack-shaped concoction with just visible canvas between the gaffa tape. So today I thought I'd go in the Kathmandu outlet "just to price" Ha! Yeah...

To be fair, I was not expecting a bag that was near bloody perfect, almost exactly what I had in mind, to be sitting there with a pricetag that had $400 crossed out and $100 written in it's place. That's cheating. I quickly did some sums, decided it was possible and bought said bag. The only issue with it is no detachable daypack (I'll live) and it's a trolley bag that does not convert to backpack (I'll still live, I don't plan to take it hiking and I can haul it up stairs if need be). It's lightweight, 90 lts, has compartments, has decent wheels and handle, packs away flat and is even my favourite colour. Yay! And from everything I've read Kathmandu bags are really well made, which is why they are usually expensive, so it should last me at least as long as my old backpack, if not longer.

I also bought a microfibre towel as they were on special. Apparently a lot of Malaysian places still don't provide guests with towels (and when they do they are often of questionable cleanliness even in more ritzy places) so I figure one large emergency travel towel between us is a good idea. i also have to admit my inner geek (who some may say is not too inner) wanted to ensure I had a towel and knew where is was :-)

I have spent today feeling progressively better and better. Now if only my nose would stop running everything would be sweet.
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I banged my head and now I feel dizzy and slightly nauseous :-(

I was trying to pet Loki and I hit my head very hard on the bed. I am not quite sure how I managed this. Either I'm a moron or Loki did it on purpose and is an evil kitty genius.



May. 27th, 2009 10:14 am
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I tried fighting it with Cold and Flu tablets and Strepsils and Tom Yum soup and sleep and fluids but all to no avail. I am sick in bed with the snottiest, sinus-iest headcold known to humanity (okay, slight exaggeration, but I FEEL LIKE SHIT!)

I've called in sick to work which I'm kind bummed about because 1. I need the money, 2. it's an evening shift, so pays more while being more interesting 3. I feel bad leaving workmates in the lurch and it's no fun being home sick in bed and 4. I need the money ("I need the money" is also reasons 5, 7 and 8) (There is no reason number 6)

So instead I'm going to organize what wedding stuff I can with my trusty laptop and phone.


1. Agonise over guest list again: It can't be a very big wedding because we don't have the space nor the budget, BUT we both come from big families- therefore our friends list has to be smaller than we'd like ideally :-( I don't think I can squeeze anyone else on the list- but I'm still going to look it over and try!

2. Try to google the florist from [ profile] jpom40's wedding= cos she was lovely.

3. Try to google the invite people [ profile] _audhumla_ used (yep, stealing everyone elses' ideas- that's why it's good to get married in the middle of the wedding trend!)

4. Check out the Myers' gift registry as I'd prefer to give family in particular some directions and NOT end up with 7 toasters. (Any family reading this- you don't HAVE to use the registry, and if you do, you don't HAVE to get the thing from Myers. I am just thinking Myers because everyone has one near them and Myers will have everything we'd want on the list- you can always take a squiz at the list for ideas and then buy something similar elsewhere!)

5. Speak to guy at place we're thinking of having reception (have left message on his phone)

6. See if I can book our preferred caterers

At some point must make it out of bed and down to the kitchen to seek sustenance. [ profile] mc_shamo very nicely brought me toast and hot milo in bed before he left for work (as well as the cold tablets, tissues and laptop- I have a lovely fiance!) but that was several hours ago now and I may need something else before he comes back after 6pm... Wish I could train the cats to make soup...

But before all this I think another nap... nighty night.
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I went to the doctor yesterday, who gave me penicillan and prescribed a day of rest and fluids. In the evening I went to [ profile] jpom40's parents' place for dinner and had two and a half glasses of wine, which was probably unadvisable, but did temporarily make my throat feel better. Whehn that wore off I gargled with Aspro-clear. I then spent the night sleeping fitfully, feeling hot and sick and sorry for myself. Despite having taken the penicillan I feel worse today than I did yesterday, though better than I did Thursday night when I called in sick.

Today I am at work, the combination of no bosses, an evening shift (which tend to be the least stressful, least boring and have the most resources to ameliorate any bordom that turns up) and time and a half after I've had to miss a shift already proved too much for me. I am armed with tea, strepsils, Diflam spray, miso soup and a particularly beautiful red cashmere scarf [ profile] impostinator bought me from Florence(Anna, it feels divine, thank you!). Plus no one has called Adult Retrieval since 0025 last night, so knock on wood it stays that way and I get to keep my voice!

I also have made an appointment to see Dr Lum on Tuesday, since I trust him miles more than the doc at Newmarket Bulk Bill Production Line Medical Centre. Hopefully if I'm not better by then he can help.

The clouds are so low it looks like if I went out on the tarmac I could reach up and touch them.
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I have a sore throat, I suspect I also have a temperature.

My methods of controlling these have up til now included lemon and honey drinks, strepsils and tom yum soup.

Anyone got any advice? I'm still getting sicker and can't see a doc til Tuesday, also have to be at work tomorrow.

In other news, 1620 words in to a 2000 word essay, go me!
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I got into work this morning and felt really really ill. Luckily the night-shift guy had had a quiet night and managed six hours of sleep, so offered to stay around until a replacement for me could be found, so I got to go back home.

In between trips to the bathroom (and the least said about them the better, believe me) I've been regressing to childhood. Unkind people may observe this would not take me long, however I thought I'd show you what I've been doing:

YouTube clips ahoy )
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I feel shit.

I came home early from work sick with a horrendous headache. I threw myself into bed and only crawled out when [ profile] mc_shamo got home at 7:30. Headache is mainly gone, but I still feel weak and pale.

Nevertheless, I've been looking forward to tonight. I know it may be foolish, but some of my old recklessness is coming back :-) So I'm in a dress, the green one that shows rather a lot, and I'm heavily made up to hide the pale face (thank you stage experience!). After I post this I'm putting on my boots and then bugger it, I'm going dancing.

I am making sure I have enough cash on me to get a taxi home. And I'm not going to drink. These two facts prove I am not as reckless as once I was, and that I've learned from my mistakes.

Also I have a feeling that while I say I'll be dancing I may end up being the one who minds everyone's bags while they dance. But it will still be nice to be out. :-)
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This struck a chord:

I was such a soft touch
You solved your problems with a pout
I’ll never forget you
Or let you back inside my house.
You misread me.
The Guild League

I suppose it can’t be helped. I’ll always remember your birthday, because it is exactly two weeks before mine.

What I would give you if I could: a sense of worth (both your own and other people’s), a sense of proportion, a sense of duty, a sense of dignity, a sense of shame, a wish for fulfilment, a wish for help, the ability to ask for the help you actually need as opposed to the help you want, a wish to compensate for the pain you caused, the ability to recognise the pain you caused, the ability to live your actual life as opposed to the fantasy life in your head, courage.

The more I think about life the more I’m convinced that this is it, as far as this plane of consciousness goes. I don’t think there is reincarnation, or if so not in the straightforward form usually thought of, rather more a gathering of conscious into a life, not always exactly the same conscious that may have previously made up a life. Nor do I think we retain this level of consiousness in any afterlife that may exist, I'm not sure whether consiousness increases or decreases or does something completley different, but I can't see how it could stay the same. Anyway, I digress (I’m good at that). My point is, if this is all there is on this level, you are squandering your time. Instead of making this life the most beautiful and exquisite you could for yourself and for your fellow humans you are ripping it down, locking yourself in a cage and watching jealously those with the courage to walk free. Your jealousy means that if it's in your power you try to rip down not only your own life but the lives of those who come in contact with you. Because you refuse to leave your cage you don’t gain what those outside cages gain; the ability to achieve fulfilment. You think it provides protection when it actually locks you into your own personal hell and makes it easier for your nightmares of being alone and unattended and unwanted to get in. You have the ultimate fear of failure that stops you trying so you can say that had you tried you would have succeeded, you fear failing at life.

I hope you’ve quit smoking.
I hope you’ve cut down on drinking.
I hope you’ve stopped eating so much junk food.
I hope you’re getting more exercise.
I hope you’ve faced up to your actions.
I hope you’re currently working to repay at least the financial pain you caused.

While I hope this I can see you in my mind, on your verandah, a cigarette in one hand, a glass of wine in the other, some chips or pies on the table, in a comfortable chair, loudly denouncing me and those I love to whoever it is you’ve currently managed to con. Either that or you’ve moved on to another imaginary crisis you’re using to make your “friend” stay loyal, because deep down you fear that without your imaginary crises you just don’t have the skills any longer to hold someone’s interest in a friendship. They’re probably sitting there quite uncomfortable, and if you’ve had them in your clutches long enough for your initial charm to wear off they’re probably wondering how long they’ll have to stay to keep you happy.

I can’t give you any of the things you truly need, and I never could. Anything you need now has to come from within. It is all in there, I wish you'd manifest the desire to find it.

Through everything, you did bestow on me one true gift, and it was the only gift you didn’t know you gave; I know I never want to be you. I will never let my love of storytelling blow out into slanderous lies. I will never let my need of approval and love become a grim competition with anyone else in the life of my friends or partner. I will never let my partiality for fun and pleasure tip me into a life of complete excess. I will never forget the value of things; whether those things be material like food and clothes, or intangible ideas like love, friendship and trust. I will never again not try because I am scared of failing.

I’ll never forget you.

Or let you back inside my house.

Happy 25th birthday.
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This is something that almost definitely has already occured to the serious Harry Potter fans, but when I was listening to Deathly Hallows at work it suddenly occured to me that extra little layer of sad )

On the weekend [ profile] mc_shamo and I were on a tram and a girl said "excuse me, were you two at Twelth Night last week?" When we said yes she continued "I thought so! You were wearing that jumper, I just wanted to tell you it's really, really cool" This was to [ profile] mc_shamo, who was wearing the Transformers jumper I knitted last year for his birthday. Seamus then pointed out that I'd knitted his jumper and that I'd knitted the jumper I was wearing too, she gasped "Oh wow! It's got a hood!" And stared at me in admiration. Chuffed, I was. :-)

Yesterday I almost compleately lost my voice. No one at work noticed. This tells you how much interaction I get at work. Chris is le emo.

I am listening to The Dark Room by Minette Walters while working and enjoying it a lot.



Jul. 7th, 2008 04:08 pm
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I should not consume tuna that was taken out of a can yesterday, put in the fridge, taken out of the fridge this morning then put in a bag, unrefridgerated, for five hours.

I'm a moron, a sick feeling moron, a sick feeling moron who will have to cancel on attending her boyfriend's sister's birthday dinner due to feeling like, well, a moron who ate bad tuna.

mstakenidentity: (Default)
I am-

-Home sick on the couch, and very much hoping this is the last day of sickness as I start work tomorrow

-Halfway through my part of the Finance and Budgeting assignment- pity it's the easy half

-Hungry, but I can't keep anything down, am hoping plain baked potato will prove the exception

-Watching Fawlty Towers on Youtube in ten minute blocks whenever I complete a certain task in the assignment- I really need the motivation!

-Probably not going to make class since I still feel this bleugh

-Actually feeling quite upbeat about tomorrow and looking forward to it!
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Yesterday I went to Student Health and was jabbed in the arm with my third dose of Gardasil. Apparently this stuff is so nasty (painful and reactionary) that not just the nurses and doctors, but even the company that makes it has admitted it. Still, better than getting cancer, and worth it to reduce the risk.

I came home afterwards still feeling light-headed and bleugh and crawled into bed, where I stayed until 5pm. Today I felt exhausted but figured I just needed to get moving, so thought I'd go to the gym. [ profile] mc_shamo looked at me and informed me I was pale, even for me, and slightly grey. So I've decided that going to the gym might not be clever, and am currently using lj to fight off the urge to sleep. Unless I bounce back amazingly in the next few hours I don't think I'll make pub tonight either, sorry [ profile] penelope_jane.

Loki is running around and being very cute.

[Edit] The upside? I very much doubt this is contagious, so I can still have cuddles without worrying about passing it on. :-D


Jan. 29th, 2008 01:27 pm
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Please be a 24hr bug, please don't be tonsilitis. Please be a 24hr bug, please don't be tonsilitis. Please be a 24hr bug, please don't be tonsilitis. Please be a 24hr bug, please don't be tonsilitis. Please be a 24hr bug, please don't be tonsilitis. Please be a 24hr bug, please don't be tonsilitis. Please be a 24hr bug, please don't be tonsilitis. Please be a 24hr bug, please don't be tonsilitis.

[ profile] mc_shamo has been awesome, he went out and bought me soup so I had something to eat that I could swallow, and bought mineral water and throat lollies. He then made up the soup and made croutons and after made me tea. Nice boyfriend.

Loki-cat slept on the bed next to me!
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Things are moving around a lot and making me dizzy.

At least I've started on Christmas presents.
mstakenidentity: (Euripides play)
Have already had a moment where I completley lost control, threw a 30 second tantrum and started crying. Managed it before 9am.

Luckily no one witnessed it but [ profile] mc_shamo.

It was over somthing relativley minor, just straw-that-broke-the-camel's-back-y for a minute or so before I calmed down.

I really hate losing control like that though.

I wish I could find the people who broke in to my house. Right now i'd let them keep the laptop if I could just get all my work off it first!
mstakenidentity: (Default)
Still sick!

I went back to the doctor today, I have been put on EVEN MORE PREGNISILONE!!!!

Going to the doctor forced me to put real clothes on for the first time since Monday, I don't like it, I will put my dressing gown back on soon.

I am making another big pot 'o' Mexican for [ profile] mc_shamo and I tonight, chilli is good, clears the head and chest.

I wish I had more books here to read.
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I feel sick after I eat or drink anything.

I am craving chocolate milk like mad.

I'm thirsty.

This sucks.

Bugger it, if it makes me sick it makes me sick.
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Today involved one walk to the shops three blocks away at 11am. My breathing has still not recovered.

This is very not good.
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I had an acute asthma attack today, probably brought on by the weekend of fullness and by the horrible sinus/fever/cough thing I've had since Friday morning.

I had the fun of going into emergecy, waiting half an hour to even see the triage nurse (they were SO busy, I felt bad being there) and then I got freaked out because although most people were having to wait hours to be taken in the nurse took my blood pressure, temperature and listened to my chest and I was rushed straight through. I ended up being taken to the short-stay ward, they took me in a wheelchair cos I couldn't walk it. The nurses were all nice, and they got me orange juice and a sandwich and a magazine (which I didn't read, but the thought was nice) After I'd been there about three hours [ profile] mc_shamo turned up and kept me company for the next five hours, and didn't complain at all, which was very nice of him.

I just got home a little while ago, feel shaky and short of breath but much better.


mstakenidentity: (Default)

April 2011



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