
I violently dislike winter.
As I write this memories of 30 degree days are still very fresh in my memory. I still have a slight sunburn on my shoulders and my feet are not encased in wool or even cotton socks and boots but slipped into the cork base and leather straps of birkenstock sandals. There is sand at the bottom of my laundry basket from a recent beach trip and a tube of 30+ sunscreen in my handbag at all times in case I am out in the open for longer than four hours and need a top up on the run (By the way, can anyone confirm for me that Australia is the only country that classes sunscreen as a staple or medical necessity and not as a luxury cosmetic? It sounds like one of those things that could be true since we've got the harsh sun, but I'm not entirley convinced). Sure we've passed the ides of March, but Melbourne being Melbourne and Australia being Australia summer is still definitely with us.
However, I have begun to notice that when I get up in the mornings at 6am for a dayshift at work it is still dark. And tonight the sun had set by the time I sat down with my dinner at 8pm.
Autumn is coming.
I suffer from depression, which is a pretty common thing. I also always feel much much worse in cold weather, which I believe is also common. I've often thought that in Australia we are silly for continuing to celebrate Christmas on the 25th of December when our midwinter is in July. It means that we have nothing to exert ourselves for, and nothing to get us through the short, bleak days. It doesn't snow in Melbourne, or get cold enough for the rivers to freeze, so winter sports are not possible unless you go up to the mountains for the weekend. I guess what I'm trying to say is that all the things which Europeans have used for centuries to get through their (admittedly, much more bleak) winter aren't available here. This is why we should move Christmas- we don't need it in December, we have summer and the new year to celebrate, winter has nothing.
Last year around this time of year I toyed with the idea of throwing a big midwinter party, but in the end it didn't happen. At the time I reassured myself that this was because we were throwing an engagement party instead, but really it was because I couldn't be bothered. I always get depressed in winter and more and more lethargic. It becomes even more of a battle to drag myself out of bed. I begin to resent the cold and react to it with impatience and anger. Sometimes I am kept awake by the cold- more often than I'm kept awake by heat in summer. I hate the amount of clothes I have to wear in winter. I hate big winter coats. I hate that buldings are overheated so that in order to sit at my desk I have to take off layer after layer, and if I'm in a shopping centre or public building I then have to cart the coats and jumpers and scarves around with me. I get hot and sweaty, and then go back outside and the sweat feels cold and slimy on my skin.
Anyway, enough moaning. I started thinking recently about my favourite times of year. The answers I came up with were November, Christmas and Summer. I started thinking about why. Summer is easy- I am a summer person, I like heat, while I dislike uncomfortable prickly days I love the balmy summer nights and late evening trips to the beach. I like wearing as little as possible, my skin feels better that way. I like light, airy cottons and silks much more than wool and felts. I love my thai fisherman's pants. I love going around in bare feet. November I enjoy for a few reasons- if I'm at uni it's the end of semester and holidays are in the air, my birthday is in November, and most importantly there is the anticipation of summer. I love realising that I can leave the house in only jeans and a T-shirt, that the sun is rising earlier and setting later. I resent the fact that Christmas decorations go up in November in city streets and in shopping centres (some even in October) because I feel November is it's own special time of year. This brings me to Christmas. I love Christmas. I love carols, I love getting a tree and decorating it, I love wrapping presents. Most of all I love buying or making presents, trying to make sure I get something that will mean something to the person it is for- and usually managing to do this on a shoestring. I always have Christmas at the back of my mind, often by the start of December all my Christmas shopping is done (which makes me complaining about the early decorations sound silly- but they really do bug me, I think they put pressure on people and that making Christmas go for longer takes away a lot of the fun). I don't know exactly what it is, but the site of colourfully wrapped presents under my decorated tree ready to be given out on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day fills me with an immense sense of security and happiness. It makes me feel like I belong I guess. I'm part of a family. I'm part of a friendship group. The MUCAAS Christmas Night tradition is now as important to me as the family gatherings and I know that if and when they have to stop I will miss them greatly.
So, I have come to the conclusion that I like to mark seasons, I like ritual, and I like food and gifts and people. I also like the sun, but I probably can't recreate that in winter. My plan is to attempt this year (a bit late because of the honeymoon, but that's fine) to mark autumn properly. I want to start making things with cinnamon and cloves and oranges and apples for around the house. I've already made a clove studded orange which is giving off a wonderful scent on one of my shelves. After the big storm I went and collected all the fresh pinecones that had fallen off the trees near our local footy oval and they are currently hanging and drying after I cleaned them out. I plan to buy a bulk amount of ground mixed spice and make scented pinecones with the aid of some craft glue. I have also found out how to preserve autumn leaves and how to make scented apple and orange chips for an autumn popurri. I am going to turn autumn into the time when my hous is warm and welcoming and smells delicious. I plan to keep these decorations up throughout winter, possibly adding to then if I can think of any specifically winter type decorations (the bugger being most of the sites online for crafts are from the UK or US so equate "winter" and "christmas" As as aside- as a child when reading Narnia I could never understand why it was always winter but never Christmas. My four year old self thought "Well of course if it's always winter it is never Christmas, Christmas is in summer, everyone knows that!" Come to think of it, I think that might just be why I find the Australian winter so depressing- it never does become Christmas). And this year, come hell or high water I will have some sort of midwinter party- even if it's only a dinner party for six.
My other plan is to give a lot of edible gifts at Christmas 2010 to family, and this will involve baking. I find baking very calming and relaxing and I do get a great sense of wellbeing from it- provided I'm not heating up a kitchen on a summer or spring day. I figure that my freezer is my friend and that this winter I will bake up a storm of things that will survive being vacuum packed then chucked in the freezer for four or five months. This means in December all I have to do is arrange things in tins and trays and I have instant presents! It also means yet more yummy smells through my home and the nice, warm feeling I get when making things for other people.
I will survive this winter damnit. I will. I might even be happy through it.